Phoenix Fights

"The only thing we have to fear is fear it'self – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." Franklin D. Roosevelt. Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2014….

Daily Prompt: Release Me ROLLING IN THE DEEP

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Image

http://sistasertraline.wordpress.com/2013/06/05/rolling-in-the-deep-part-two/

When I saw this Daily Prompt I automatically held my breath, my face froze and stomach twisted as the blog posts that were the most uncomfortable, shameful, painful and totally nerve racking immediately sprung to mind.

No hesitation, no deliberation.

When you read the above post (and the others if you wish), you’ll understand why.

Because it is usually the case that the worst harm sexual abuse inflicts is on our souls and psyches and not our bodies.

Tissues heal, bruises fade, cuts scab over as our body fights infection and autonomically seals, replenishes and protects itself.

But the hot, wet, smarting, pulsating wound of our shame, anger and fear sticks around so much longer, usually because our minds tell us it was all our fault, there is something wrong with us and we deserved no better.

And on that basis, we tend to continue to treat ourselves with disgust and contempt for years, allowing ourselves to be mistreated repeatedly, or hiding away from the opposite sex, convinced that everyone wants to do us harm so we will never let anyone close again.

Setting my story free was both terrifying and liberating as I’d kept it tucked away for decades and was sure that I’d be judged by all and sundry to be the dirty little slapper that I was.

But I’d totally misjudged my followers, and the support and succour they provided me over those four days helped heal my heart, mind and soul more than I can say.

Through sharing my story I realised that I was so much more than this bag of bones, flesh and fluid, and had I known this at the time, I would have forgiven myself more readily, and been open and willing to heal myself wholly instead of clasping my secret to me like an ugly, dirty, battered old doll.

If anyone reading has ever had experience of sexual abuse, I can’t tell you what to think or do, but I would say that sharing your story with someone, be it a counsellor, a family member or on here (anonymously or otherwise) will lance that wound, pour healing waters over it and let all the poison out.

Do that much for yourself.

For you are beautiful, God’s child, a unique, complex and extraordinary creation.

And the fact that some selfish, animalistic oaf (or oafs) took it upon themselves to avail themselves of your body without your permission, or by taking advantage or your vulnerability or lack of self esteem, should not clip your wings.

Flick them off, tend your wounds, leave them in the filthy gutter where they belong and fly away.

If you can forgive them, because it will benefit you, then do so.  If you cannot, don’t sweat it.  Leave them to their fate.

For you have better things waiting for you in your future.

Namaste beautiful sisters and brothers and thank you again for your love and support xxx

http://sistasertraline.wordpress.com/category/sexual-abuse-2/

82 COMMENTS

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/10/20/daily-prompt-free/

9 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Release Me ROLLING IN THE DEEP

  1. Pingback: The Cathartic Power of Writing and Blogging | Rob's Surf Report

  2. Very brave and moving. I entirely agree with you. I was sexually attacked, by a stranger, back in the eighties – and have posted a piece about it on here. It was both liberating and healing. Alienora

  3. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Release Me | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

  4. Thank you for being brave and for getting over the hurt……. your soul is pure and that is what remains

  5. Pingback: YOUR KIND OF LOVE ENDED TRUST FOR ME | hastywords

  6. Pingback: Thank you everyone for the love and support | Processing the life

  7. Pingback: Irish skies | Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis & Me

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