Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….


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Forgive me but I just have to share this with someone.

As well as blogging I also Tweet as I was told it was a good thing to do to connect with like minded people.  I haven’t got very many ‘followers’ as I’m anonymous and am not entirely sure what I’m doing, but I toil away regardless.

Anyway a woman decided to follow me the other way, so, as a courtesy, I followed her back.

She then tweeted me something along the lines of the following:

‘Thanks for following me.  Bet I’m more bonkers than you!’

Okey dokey.  Seemed a bit inappropriate, plus I didn’t know it was a competition?  That said, I do say rather wryly on my status that I’m bonkers, and I suppose everyone deals with these things in different ways.

I look at her profile. She’s in her 60’s, socialist, atheist and a self professed ‘loudmouth’.

Innocuous enough I suppose, so I reply something along the lines of:

‘Perhaps SAL, Perhaps!  Have a look at my blog if you like x’

And think no more about it.

Today I have a look at my Twitter account and I notice that I have dropped a follower.  Because I have very few, I decide to have a look and see who’s bailed.  It’s SAL.

I puzzled. She approached me?  I mention it to a friend later in the day who is experienced in all matters Twitter.

She laughs and tells me that sometimes people deliberately follow new people whether they are interested in them or not, and wait for the British politeness to kick in when they are in turn followed back. They then leave it a few days then drop the newby, the net result being that they have upped their body count, and presumably boosted their ego/profile/perceived popularity.

Whilst I don’t bristle at this news (OK maybe i bristle a bit), I decide to sift through my followers with the intention of un-following SAL, if for no other reason than to teach her that crime, sorry, duplicitous behaviour does not pay  :-).

It’s then that i realise that she has not only stopped following me but she has actually blocked me.

I’m speechless.  I barely exchanged more than a sentence with her.

Then I realise that she must have taken one look at my blog and twigged that i am actually a bit damaged (and not in the Colin Hunt ‘I’m craaazzzy me!’ kind of way), therefore not a wacky kindred spirit. So she decided to leg it.

Not only that, but she found me so threatening that she had to block me, just in case I erm, came after her and did something to her by way of revenge?  Quite why or what she feared I have no idea.

There is no other rational explanation. Believe me I’ve thought it through with the aid of a mate and a couple of good bottles of wine over dinner, and we’ve both arrived at the conclusion that we don’t blame her. Quite how I’ve been allowed to be left at large within community, roaming the streets, knuckles dragging along the floor for as long as i have is quite disgraceful really, and a marksman from the funny farm should swing by with a tranquiliser gun ASAP before someone gets hurt.

Whilst I look nothing like my photo, if I had money I would be highly tempted to hire a detective to track her down, then dress up as Sista Sertraline (i.e. a nun) and stagger after her down the street with a bloodied coat hanger in my nutty little fist, shouting Papa Lazarou style ‘You’re my friend now SAL!’

Joking aside, whilst it’s easy and quite therapeutic to poke fun at people like this, it is pretty alarming that in this day and age that those suffering from mental illness are perceived as being so alien and threatening that one should not even be seen to associate with them via a social media site.  And whilst she can do me no harm on Twitter (especially is she is in hiding, under armed guard presumably), I certainly wouldn’t want her on an interview panel if I was applying for a job.

If you deign to click on my hyperlink again and happen to read this SAL, I would never have contacted or harmed you, unless we count your reputation. You could have happily sat there amongst the others totally unmolested as you weren’t actually interesting enough for me to interact with.  Had you passed me on the street, you would probably perceived a tall, well dressed, stylish woman in her 40’s, and whilst no doubt your inverted snobbery would have furnished you with an alternative reason to dislike me, you would never have been able to detect my illness in a month of Sundays.

Finally, I’ll take this opportunity to complete my (then) Twitter status:

Some people think I’m bonkers….

…but I just think I’m free.


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