I thought I’d heard the last from the Guru for a while, after our rather uncomfortable exchange last week where I was forced to rebuff his kind offer to use my flat as a frickin’ hotel whenever he was in the country. But non. I came home from a nice lunch today to find the following in me inbox:
I don’t enjoy many peoples company these days but dinner with you was a rare exception.
I believe that you enjoyed it too, so shall we try a little experiment? May i stay with you for one night on ??rd May? I’ll try not to snore too much, ha ha!
What? After spilling my guts to him re my condition and how uncomfortable it is for me to have strangers staying over in my tiny, claustrophobic shoebox of a flat, he’s still pushing me on this? Really?! I can just picture Jesus shaking his head, going ‘Tsk, tsk, what a dick, you wouldn’t catch me doing that ….’
My overriding urge is to reply by sending him a link to the Premier Inn website which guarantees a good nights sleep, something he would not get here due to marauding cats, a hissing air bed and me either pacing the floor trying to quash a panic attack or thwacking him on the forehead with a ladle if he did indeed happen to snore like a pneumatic drill. It’s as cheap as chips if you don’t stay central and considering what his company charges for tuition, I’m surprised he doesn’t hole up at the Wolseley whilst he’s over here. But perhaps that would be a little blunt and it’s important that we keep things cordial.
After giving it some thought (well five minutes), I respond as follows:
I enjoyed our dinner too, but like yourself, if I get a strong instinct that I do not want to do something I tend to honour it, especially in this instance as i would wish neither of us an uncomfortable nights sleep.
Hope you understand
This should do the trick as the last time we met, he told me that he never did anything he didn’t want to, but people (including his kids) accepted this because ‘that’s what he’s like’. Well this is what I’m like buddy, so back the fuck off.
Still, I have an uncomfortable feeling that I still haven’t heard the last of it, ‘cos G is clearly used to getting his own way. Better go find a beta blocker before I go into a full blown panic attack about being rejected/reviled/stoned to death by all of his adoring, limpid eyed, lycra clad clan at the next tuition session.
Men eh? Gurus or ordinary Joe Blows, none of them seem to be able take ‘no’ for an answer….