Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….




After another day of being stuck in my own sticking black pit of sadness, I have admitted defeat and upped my meds again.  Now is not the right time to be a hero.

The artists will have to go on their way without me.

Comatose v caring?  Comatose wins.  By a country mile.

Unfeeling v fear?  Take a wild guess.

Sertraline-induced-something-like-serenity v self hatred?  No prizes here.

This stuff is sticking and clinging to me so tight that it takes more effort to struggle free than I’ve got.  As I sink deeper, I’m trying to keep it out of my eyes as it’s hard enough to see a way forward as it is.

I have friends, family, therapy, happy pills, self help, books, what the fuck else can I do? 

What do I have to do to want to be here?

I hate it.

I’m tired.

I want to go home.




4 thoughts on “TAR PIT TUESDAY

  1. Pingback: Tar Pit Tendencies | After the Ecstasy, the Laundry . . .

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