Made a discovery the other day via http://xeraphax.wordpress.com that made me think so much, I tipped over into a skull cracking, earth shaking migraine, which only served to give the theory more validity!
God, can the next wake up call be a little less painful?!
I have always known that by nature I am empathic, but I have never heard the term ‘Empath’ before.
But when I read the Empath Guidebook http://www.psi-zone.net/guidebook.html everything seemed to fall into place and I’m a bit gobsmacked really.
We all know stuff about ourselves, don’t we?
I know that I’m sensitive, depressive, creative, paranoid, a ‘rescuer’, a bit psychic, highly defensive etc. but this condition unlike depression alone seems to incorporate so many of my applicable characteristics.
Let me break it down:
LOSING SENSE OF SELF
Yup. Frequently. Sometimes after a panic attack I’d look in the mirror and not recognise my own face, so this fits 100%.
PICKING UP AND ABSORBING THE MOODS OF OTHERS
This is what clicked the most as, whilst I’ve always tried to help others in distress, recently I can find it totally overwhelming and seem to ‘catch’ the mood like a disease or sickness, either brought on by my breakdown, current vulnerability/instability or I’ve lost the skill of keeping my boundaries in place. This explains so much and is reassuring as I’ve felt like I’ve let down some of my more vulnerable/damaged acquaintances/friends of late as I can’t cope with being around them.
ATTRACTING NEGATIVE ENTITIES
As some of you might know, I see dead people. To be serious, I seem to attract entities (ghosts, disembodied spirits or whatever you want to call them) and am subject to their attention seeking tricks. They don’t tend to materialise when I’m happy and I have never been sure that they want to help, hurt or just mess with me. Apparently they can feed off people like me and whilst they’ve rarely worried or scared me that much, maybe I should learn more about this and how to protect myself from the dodgy ones.
SENSITIVITY TO LIGHT AND NOISE
I am actually photosensitive and pretty much wear sunglasses intermittently the whole year round. I am also very intolerant to unnecessary/excessive noise! If you chatter, fidget and rattle your popcorn during the entire movie when going to the cinema, seriously, do not sit near me!
SENSITIVITY TO CROWDS/PARTIES
I am not good in crowds, hence avoid them like the plague. I cannot get onto a crammed tube train or go to crowded festivals as I cannot bear others leaning on me, touching me and being unable to get away and it makes me feel really hostile if people invade my space. If I want someone to touch me, they’ll know about it!
This dogged my life for decades, but have pushed against of late out of sheer defiance. People who try and lay guilt trips on me really piss me off, so clearly I have issues.
I am not ‘Medium’ level, but I do have some, and my instincts when followed, have never let me down. I can also read the Tarot.
For years and years I have felt like a tent carried away by the wind, and have been unable to get down and nail a peg into the ground. I have rarely ever felt grounded or like I belong anywhere in my entire life.
WON’T STAY IF NOT WANTED
Yup. I reject before I’m rejected and leave if I get that vibe from anyone or in any situation/scenario.
BUILT IN LIE DETECTOR
Totally. Aunty C (my counsellor) used to tell me off for making decisions/assumptions off the back of this, but the problem is, I’m rarely wrong 🙂 .
GIVE ABUSERS THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
Used to. Don’t any more. Much prefer physical violence ;-).
STRONG CONNECTION TO NATURE AND ANIMALS
Love both, and feel as close as I can feel to being at peace around them. Most animals are drawn to me. Especially mosquitos.
HATE SEEING OTHERS SUFFER
DESIRE TO HELP OTHERS
Check. I think it’s what I’m here for. Not sure how though.
CAN HEAL OTHERS
I used to be able to when I did massage, people used to tell me that my hands would heat up. Not sure if I still can, should be able to though if this is true.
NOT FEELING LIKE YOU BELONG
HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP)
I do feel energies changing, used to be very useful in business meetings/negotiations.
BUZZING IN EARS
This apparently can happen if a spirit is trying to communicate with you. I don’t have this. Mine just knock things over, wake me up at night and hide my credit card/nail file/travel card. Bastards.
CAN CHANGE ENERGY
When I am in a very dark place or angry/upset, I can affect the people around me. It is palpable, so that’s when I turn hermit as I don’t want to upset anyone. I don’t use it to attack, it’s never occurred to me to do so. I’m also told that I ‘glow’ when I’m on a high.
I do subconsciously put love into my food and used to push energy and healing out of my fingers when massaging people. For that reason I would never take on a client I disliked and I rarely cook for anyone I don’t care for.
Yes a lot of the time. Probably down to lack of confidence.
DRUGS AND ALCOHOL
Empaths can take refuge in these. Whilst I would never classify myself as a alcoholic and have never really used recreational drugs much, wine and prescription pills do dull the pain. I know they’re not good for me though.
PRONE TO MIGRAINES
These are just some of the characteristics listed in this 191 page document, plus there are suggestions and help re how to deal with the condition too, so if any of these symptoms correlate with you, you might want to check this out. Bach Flower remedies seem to be the main source, and there is stuff about using spirit guides that I have yet to get my head around, but there is too much that makes sense here for me to dismiss it.
I’d better start reading up, who knows, this may be a turning point for me and my health.
Look out pesky disembodied souls, your annoying hide-the-thing-I-need-most games may soon be coming to an end!
All together now ‘I ain’t afraid of no ghosts…’