I slept badly last night, and this fucking song has embedded itself deep in my ear and is driving me crazy.
All those years I worked with D, I told myself I never had a thing for him and I feel like a total eejit ‘cos he’s married with a kid now and had I been able to admit it, make myself vulnerable, and take the risk of rejection, who knows what might have happened?
And now that I’ve admitted it, it hurts and whilst I’ve always said that i wasn’t a jealous person, the realisation is that I’ve never allowed myself to care enough for good looking men to be made jealous, but boy am I making up for it now!
D doesn’t know this and as far as I’m concerned, he’ll never know. Pride is a terrible thing, but right now, it’s all I have. And I want him to be happy.
Wake up Sista, unless you are reincarnated, there is no going back, there is only forward, so get this out of your system and move the fuck on before it’s too late and you’re too old/wizened/jaded/afraid to meet anyone else.
In the meantime, I’m going to have to secretly block D’s posts, ’cause to be honest?
I just can’t look, it’s killing me…..