Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….




Someone I know has just gone over to the dark side…..

When I left Wankers R Us, we worked together and he was in a similar frame of mind to me.

Frustrated, scornful, pressured, hobbled, sick of all the bullshit, incensed by the politics and the last time we saw one another face to face at a function during the European summit, he was drunkenly slagging off the company, culture and senior management whilst they were in earshot, so if anyone was going to follow in my footsteps and exit via the trade entrance rather than the front reception, I would have sworn that it would be him.

Albeit in a more conventional fashion perhaps :-).

But no.  Apparently he’s a ‘made man’ now.

The last time we ‘spoke’ was on Facebook, just after I left, and whilst I wasn’t allowed to tell him everything, he immediately got the gist of what happened, had his own little rant in my defense and wished me the best of luck, implying that he wouldn’t be far behind me.

So today, approximately nine months later, seeing that he was online, I sent him a quick message asking how he was.

You know when you use IM on Facebook that the previous messaging exchange is made visible?

Well, his reply was as if another person was typing it.

Formal, polite and professional.

As opposed to informal, irreverent, frank, honest and funny.

Not the H I knew and loved.

‘You can call me Mr Managing Director.’ he wrote smugly.

Initially I was really pleased for him as I assumed he was moving on at last.

‘Oh well done honey!’ gushes I, ‘Who with?’

‘Here’ he wrote, ‘in the Spanish office.’

He couldn’t even bring himself to say the company name, probably guessing how appalled I would be.

Of course the first thing I did was congratulate him.

The second thing was to block him from seeing certain postings on my page.  I know how dirty those fuckers can play.

So. Either the culture has changed drastically at Wankers R Us, or a rather hefty salary/package has been proffered.

In exchange for his mortal soul.


I hope, but am not confident that it was the former.

H was and probably is still a really nice, funny, charismatic guy.  I know he was recently wed so is probably planning a family, so a good salary is definitely going to be a plus point, and no shame in wanting to earn good money.

We all have our own agenda and own journey through life, I’ve made a lot of mistakes, perhaps he’s happy there now so I don’t want to judge him.

But clearly I am :-(.  Which isn’t nice.

But it’s only because I care and I have seen far too many good, decent, innovative, honourable people take the money, shut their gobs, meekly toe the party line, kiss ass, and lie and scheme and bully, twist and turn in order to do anything they can to hit target and appease Emperor Palpa…, sorry, the VP of Marketing.

H – Don’t go changin to try to please him……I love you just the way you are…..

Or is that ‘were’?


Just don’t stoop to kissing anyone’s ring any time soon, OK?



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