Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….




Yesterday, in my pain and misery, I hit out at my Body, hard, and did something to it that I haven’t done for a long time.

Today, quite understandably, it wasn’t happy, and I felt I had really let it down, so I handed over the reins of my life to it today. 

10 a.m.

‘First of all bitch, thanks for that; I’m sore, you’re sore and nothing was gained from it.  If you ever do any of that old school shit again, me and you are going to fall out big time.  A body can forgive and make repartition up to a point but that point has past.  You are middle aged woman, and whatever you do to us from hereon in could do damage that might never heal, so unless you want to end up with osteoporosis or to have to wear disposable nappies in your dotage, please refrain from lashing out at me.

Also it’s not the first time you’ve neglect me, ignored my needs, filled me with toxic substances and plied me with too much food, so this needs to be the start of a new era.  OK?

Now, I’m stiff as a board, my neck hurts and I want a nice, soothing scented bath.

And don’t reach automatically for that kettle!  I need water!  I’m dehydrated!

Water, bath, hair wash, and then we’ll see about putting a brew on.


11 a.m.

So, you want to fast today to make up for yesterday?  I think not.  I’m more interested in getting some healing, rejuvenating vitamins and minerals back into us, so that’s not going to happen.  You see those oranges over there festering in the bowl? Get them in the juicer; we’ll have them later when our stomach has settled.  In the meantime, make some porridge, and stir in some mashed banana.  OK, yes, you can have some tea now.


11.45 a.m.

Drink the juice now, but more water please, eight glasses today and every day from now on.  Now go and dry your hair.


12.30 m.d.

OK, I know you want to take all this down, but step away from the keyboard!  You know what happens, you read loads of other blogs, over to Facebook, checking your mail and browsing the internet for hours! And what do I get?  Sore shoulders, stiff back and no yoga!  Today you’ll be drafting on paper whilst we’re out and you can type it up later.

See that big yellow thing outside your window?  That, my dear, is the sun and we’re going outside for some fresh Vitamin D.

‘Make her clean up first, otherwise she gets down and ends up slumped on the sofa….’

Keep out of this Mind!  That said, I suppose you’re right.  OK you have an hour to get this place ship shape then we’re off to the park.  Bring your notebook and the Artist’s Way.


2 p.m.

See?  How nice is this? Why would you want to deprive yourself of sunlight?  Let’s find a patch of grass to settle on, take in some rays, then you can read, make some notes and maybe have a little doze.

4 p.m.

OK, our stomach seems to be settling.  Time to think about dinner, given that we haven’t had lunch.  Forget about limiting calories today!  Pick up some veggies, mozzarella and basil, time to top up all those lost vitamins.  Melenzane Parmigiana perhaps.  Yum!

No car!  We’re walking.

6 p.m.


Ah!  See how healthy and delicious this is?  Can you feel the restorative effect it’s having on us?  I know you love your baking and sugar, but you don’t have to eat it every day.

7 p.m.

OK we can watch TV now for one hour, but our neck is still hurting so no slouching on the sofa.  Lay on the floor, hook your legs over that chair, and relax your back.

8 p.m.

Now for a bit of yoga.  I know our arm’s still sore so we won’t do much, but you need to loosen up and stretch your spine, badly.

9 p.m.

OK so ideally I’d have you out dancing tonight to get some endorphins active, but I know you’re fragile after these episodes, so chill out and read.  What?  Oh, OK then, watch The Apprentice, then bed.  Old habits eh?

11 p.m.

OK, so you should be feeling significantly better by now.  Sorry?  You’re still feeling a bit low?  Lonely?  That’s Mind and Spirit territory….let’s sort that out tomorrow…..



2 thoughts on “BODY TALK

  1. Has your body been talking to my body?

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