Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….


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Today isn’t the best of days.

It’s one of those days where my greatest ambition for myself is to get my fucking feet warm, hunker down and to somehow escape the world, and all of it’s inhabitants.

I don’t think it’s about being rebuffed by my estranged friend; I’d have been most surprised had she climbed off her high horse and had a real, honest heart to heart with me.  The silent treatment is what I expected and essentially it’s what I got, but at least I can close this chapter knowing that I did my best to fix things.

I’m not great at swallowing my pride, but I did it 🙂 and I’ll do it again 🙂 🙂


Good things that happened today?  Nothing much so far (haven’t dropped the kettle whilst making tea?!), but the other day I got this Versatile Blogger award from PourMeAMilk which was a lovely surprise as he’s only just started following me, so I’m flattered to say the least.  Check out his blog, muchos funny, also touching, plus he introduced me to some skeleton in a suit that chucks beads at people….

Seven random facts about moi:

1. Sometimes I just don’t want to be here.  Not in a ‘goodbye cruel world’ kinda way, more of a ‘I’ve had enough of being in this kitchen at this endlessly tedious party and if I just sneak out the back door with this six pack of Stella, hopefully no one will notice’ kind of way.  I’ve yet to make it all the way down the corridor though, without some drunken bastard dragging me back….

2. The second and third toes on both of my feet are slightly webbed. Cue ‘Duelling Banjoes’ :-s

3. Jeremy Paxman once nearly fell off his bike trying to look up my skirt when the wind blew it up around my neck whilst I was walking through town.

4. I’ve sometimes put my life at risk when threatened because my stupid pride won’t let me show fear or back down.

5. I have many regrets for letting fear rule my life, and still need to conquer this.

6.  I haven’t had sex for two years.

7.  I’m afraid of going back out into the big wide world.

I suppose I am waffly, sorry, awfully versatile though, but hey, this comes with the territory when you ping pong back and forth from mood to mood on an almost hourly basis, so I think the one thing that I can promise you as that there isn’t and probably never will be anything that even resembles consistency on here!

My nominees?

This is where I break the rules ‘cos I’m nominating all of you!

Not because I am lazy <looks innocent> but because I wouldn’t be following you if I didn’t lurve your work and I want to say think you for being there, entertaining, amusing and inspiring me every day.

Seriously being on here has literally saved a small percentage of my sanity and I can’t imagine ever stopping.


Big love x

P.S. The next clip is for old Brits who want to be driven mad by old ad jingles – enjoy (if that’s the right word)….


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