Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….




OK have just come back from my third date with GM and I’m, well, a bit disappointed.

I am taking into account that he’s still working though and finalising a break up with his ex (whom he’s still living with), and, as previously mentioned, I’m not sure that there’s any chemistry between us in the first place, but this is officially the first time I’ve ever had a date at the cinema and not been kissed. 😦

I’m not saying that I wanted him to kiss me, but to sit next to someone for a full two hours and not even be holding hands, leaning into one another or resting an arm each others arm was kind of, well, sad….

Am I so unattractive that I do not engender affection from someone of the opposite sex who is, in theory at least, ‘dating’ me?  And when I think about it, I actually got more admiring looks from complete strangers today than I did from GM.

He also didn’t seem to have much regard for me as a person. After the movie, he asked if I fancied something to eat, and enquired as to whether I liked Mexican or spicy food.

Unfortunately I don’t, so we wandered around on the premise that we’d pass something we both liked, and lo and behold suddenly found ourselves outside a Mexican restaurant.

‘Oh look, it’s Fahita & Co’s!’ he exclaimed with mock surprise, and for some reason I agreed to eat there, didn’t enjoy it at all and left most of the food on my plate.  Even if we are only friends, I would expect a bit more concern and effort from him with regard to ensuring that I enjoyed the dining experience too.

He’s also very careful when it comes to who pays for what and, even though I’ve always said I go 50/50, he’s working and I’m not, so whilst I’m happy to stick to my guns on this, when someone is so adamant to the point of being a bit paranoid about making sure I pay my share, it’s not very attractive at all.

He did do me a music CD though, and whilst I think I’ll keep him as an occasional friend, I am rapidly writing off the potential of our ever being romantic with one another.

Whilst I’m not the best at relationships, I’ve had some lovely boyfriends who’ve treated me with love and respect, so even at my age, I’d think I’ll hang out for someone who prefers to get hot in the back row of the movies instead of in cheap Mexican restaurants and tongue blistering chilli dishes for their thrills and spills…

4 thoughts on “SITTING IN THE BACK ROW

  1. Good for you. Don’t accept less than you deserve!

    • In hindsight I feel a bit mean about the penny pinching comment as I know this divorce is costing him plenty, but its just so…unromantic! However I still feel a bit nauseous after ‘chilli hell’, so I don’t think he’s for me.


      • A friend once told me that dating & the early years should be what you look bad on during bad times down the line to remind yourself why you’re sticking it out. It stuck with me.

      • I think you’re totally right x

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