No, not the poltergeists in the telly (although honestly, they’d be welcome company right now), I’m talking about those dreaded sunny weekends!
The weather here in Blighty has been a bit touch and go, hot one day, raining the next, so this weekend kind of crept up on me, so I didn’t arrange anything or have a contingency plan, and now, outside, as far as the eye can see are happy families, groups of couples and smug marrieds, and gangs of ridiculously good looking friends cavorting around enjoying the rays.
Despite being assured by my friends that I’m funny, attractive, good company etc. etc. the phone is silent to point of being deafening, no texts have pinged on my handset, no invitations have come my way and I feel like I should be lying in a sarcophagus with my arms crossed over my chest, festering away in a dark, damp crypt along with the rest of the undead.
And I don’t know how to make myself feel better about this.
Going outside and seeing happy groups of people make me feel like an outsider and super self conscious.
Consoling myself with food obviously has its drawbacks.
Drinking myself into a coma not an option. Well it is but….
Staying in isn’t great, but I don’t think I have any choice.
I’m really doing my best to build up my contacts and keep busy and out and about, but sometimes, just sometimes, I’d like to be the first person that springs to mind whenever anything fun is happening.
But for now, I just have to accept that that’s not how people perceive me.
I honestly believe that I do not belong on this planet, but I can’t find a helpline number or any documentation so I can’t even arrange a refund and transfer….
Whoever, wherever you are, I hope you have a great weekend, full of BBQ, ice cream, sex, love, sun and fun, but, hey, don’t forget to keep the noise down will ya?!
Some of us are trying to sleep….