Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….




I’ve discovered yet another rather unattractive trait belonging to yours truly that I have to crack. Sigh….

So, just to explain, for the record, I absolutely HATE passive aggression.

Especially in conjunction with the charming character trait of bitching about someone behind their back.

In my view if you’ve got something to say about someone, at least have the nuts to spit it out and address it with them directly, before being snide and going behind their backs to other people. Especially when it is obvious to all looking on that you are being a twat because someone has the temerity to disagree with you, or they have something you do not have, as that is just out and out petty.

As an example, I find the amount of bitching on here about the work of people who have been ‘Freshly Pressed’ particularly amusing. If it doesn’t bother you, and you claim not to want that kind of recognition anyway, then why do you keep banging on about it?!

Me, I’ll take any accolade going thank you very much, even if someone’s two year old designed it with three broken crayons and his foot. 🙂


And when that kind of sly, cowardly shit is further embellished with arrogance, and finally graduates to bullying and/or humiliating someone, then that just makes my blood boil.

But, where my shit comes in, is that I have, of late, rather enjoyed watching one particular person getting their comeuppance on here for such behaviour. And when people have similar opinions to mine about such snideness and say their piece (with fairness, tact and dignity let me stress) about it, he/she gets all huffy.

And, every now and then, I have been known to chip in for my own amusement, because he/she’s such a pompous tit sometimes.

So, I have to ask myself, what does that say about me then?!

And I’m talking about him/her behind his/her back anonymously, as we speak!!



My only defence is that dastardly full moon has been back again for the last two nights, upping the frigging ante and making me all shitty and feral.

Plus, to be fair, I don’t want to hurt this person and have previously said my piece to him/her before now. I did it with with kindness, tact and diplomacy, and he/she, predictably, got all defensive, and then resorted to less than direct little digs that made me want to punch him/her in the face, or, more realistically, confront him/her about it.

Without losing my rag.

Or looking paranoid. 🙂

I have also, in the last few days, been inexplicably drawn to the heinous ‘Daily Mail’ online website (our equivalent to the National Enquirer….), and read all the crappy ‘scandal/stop their benefits/MP claimed for love balls on her expenses/Big Brother star changes her nail polish’ articles, which results in my getting (justifiably) incensed and then spend hours (no justification whatsoever) posting furious/scathing comments and responses to them, when such ridiculous shit shouldn’t concern me at all.

Why do we humans sometimes seek out the very things that we know will wind us up?

Is it because we need an outlet?

Or do we want to prove to the world and ourselves that whilst we might be a bit shit, we are in some way, shape or form better than these irritants?

I’ve known that I’m a little predisposed to this kind of behaviour for some time, and in my defence, I have learned to walk around certain, shall we say, metaphorical Lego bricks lurking in the shag pile.

Even though I haven’t been able to give up the ‘Daily Fail’ completely, I absolutely refuse point blank to read anything about or by Peter (hang ’em high) Hitchens, Liz (ME, ME, ME!) Jones, Samantha (I’m too beautiful) Brick, Charles (wife throttler) Saatchi or Jan (malicious old bitch) Moir.

I refuse to watch anything on TV that features, Gordon (Bully) Ramsay, Amanda (talentless twat) Holden, Claudia (quirky) Winkleman, Piers (dodgy as fuck) Morgan, Jessie (whiny attention seeker) Jay and/or Donald (wiggy, ego maniac, small guy bullying, turbine bothering jizz of the Devil) Trump.

Urgh. Even saying the words ‘Donald’ and ‘Trump’ can make me incandescent with rage….

And I go so far as to take the plug off the TV whenever ‘Embarrassing Bodies’ is scheduled to show, because I’ve seen far too many scabby ball sacks, gooey, reddened mimsys (medical term doncha know) or torn bloodied bum holes in close up and glorious technicolor when accidentally turning on the box at the wrong time of day.

Usually when I’ve just or am about to eat my supper 😦 .

So why have I kept reading this persons blog when I know that at least three out of ten of his/her blog posts is guaranteed to make me prickly?

Not sure. Maybe because I know he/she is probably just a bit insecure deep down?

Or that I feel a sense of loyalty having followed them for a long time?

Or because I didn’t want to ‘de-friend’ them for fear of being unkind or causing offence?

At the end of the day, it matters not.

I do not plan to keep stubbing my toe on the same rock anymore. Or standing on that upturned plug (ouch!) in my bare feet.

Or, more to the point, monitor my Reader list for his/her posts, lying in wait like some deranged Daily Mail paparazzi for him to say something cruel, judgemental or dumb, so that I can leap out of the bushes, take his picture and decry him in print.

Time to direct your energy on more positive, useful enterprises Sista.

Time to Lego.

I mean, Let Go.

And get off that damned Daily Mail website!



6 thoughts on “LEARNING HOW TO LEGO…..

  1. I am a little bad with this but no one so far has noticed. I once in awhile will congratulate someone who I feel deserves that Freshly Pressed label, but sometimes on a private email I will bemoan my fate because I don’t post pictures or whatever it is that is creating such accolades. I am awarded by my peers and am mostly satisfied. But this person I wrote to, told me about 6 months ago, “When you reach 100 or an even 200, for sure you will be Freshly Pressed.” Nope, that is not the way to get the award! Truly funny post and it did make me think about myself and why? did I have to worry about that particular award? Thanks for checking my posts out and “liking” them!

    • Argh, I hate to make people feel bad (esp when I like them 🙂 ), but my horrible brain makes me write this stuff, encouraged by that naughty moon….

      Why would you feel bad about wanting something? Nothing wrong with that. I’d quite like to be FP’d but I’m not that adept a writer, plus I’m profane, controversial and sometimes downright bloody horrible, so I’m not expecting it anytime soon 😉

      Absolutely nothing wrong in aiming high or being sad when the thing you want hasn’t happened yet. The people (or person in this instance) that nark me are the ones who profess no desire to be FP’d, but talk about it all the time, slag off the articles of those who have been recognised whilst secretly coveting the award big time themselves.

      The same person has also slagged off other bloggers with big followings or other benchmarks of success without naming or addressing them directly, which is just cowardly and mean spirited as far as I’m concerned.

      I want a great many things for myself that I don’t have right now, but that does not mean that I’m not happy that others have them, nor do I feel the need to knock them out of envy or jealousy.

      Still maybe I don’t love myself enough to be ambitious or competitive, arrggghhh, my brain hurts….

      Have a good day lovely xx

    • PS I might be naive saying this, but I think the best way of getting blog success is to be yourself and keep writing from the heart, which you clearly do.

      I know one blogger who strategically ‘follows’ all the new bloggers as soon as the come on here, whatever subject matter they are writing about, who then follow him/her back, so he/she now has a huge following.

      Clever? Yes.

      Satisfying? It wouldn’t be for me.

      Oh dear, I’m bitching again, get over it Sista!! :-s

  2. I agree that you should try to follow only ones you value. Somehow though, this has helped me to find a wider variety of people and world views. So, I do occasionally follow someone who finds me and the rest, I try to find by investigating their style and writings. Thanks so much for the in-depth conversation here and great comments on my blog. I am nominating you in only moments for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Congratulations and check out my new post when it comes to you, the logo you will have to get from someone who has nominated me. My 27 year old daughter and laptop owner is not here and I am very bad at cutting and pasting!!

  3. I think it’s important to be sincere without hurting anyone’s feelings and I always look at anyones blog who likes/follows/comments and happily usually find something that I like too.

    I have a couple of followers who are into stuff I’m not (scifi, comic books etc.) so didn’t follow them back but I doubt they give a shit.

    I also follow some who don’t follow me and have no problem with that whatsoever, at least they’re not blowing smoke up my arse. I do however follow back some young newbies who have chosen to follow me (NOT to grow my numbers) especially if, like me they have mental health issues as I think it’s important to support those who need it and if anyone is helped by what I talk about it, then I’m utterly stoked.

    I have a really diverse bunch of contacts on here and it’s been a real revelation. Everything from born agains to porn agains, coppers to ex crims and poets to pagans, cooks to crazies etc, etc, and I love ’em all! x

    Thanks for the award too, much appreciated xx

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