Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….




I will be back when I lose this irresistible urge to tear into anything and anybody….

WTF is wrong with me?

God, wish this flat had a cellar.  

A sound proof, padded cellar.

With manacles.

In the meantime, perhaps a nice bloody, juicy steak will help…..



  1. What’s going on to make you feel this way?

    • I reckon it’s that bloody super moon. The full moon is bad enough :-s

      How are you lovely?

      • Doing pretty good. Worked about 60 hours this week due to a full day convention trip on Thursday.

        Healthwise, I’ve kicked most processed sugars/corn syrup from my diet, have been forcing myself to get a full 7 hrs of sleep, and bought myself a pedometer to see how many steps I take each day. Sadly, it was only about 4,000.

        So as of today, I’m doing the “Ten Thousand Step Challenge”. I’ll walk 5,000 steps in the morning (2.5 miles) and 5,000 steps at night. In total, that means I’ll be walking nearly 6 miles every day for this one week! I’m really hoping it helps me get a nicer figure. 🙂

      • Hey, I used to do that!

        Wear it all the time, even to go to the loo, the steps soon rack up, especially as you are a working gal.

        I’m trying to cut down on sugar, but I bake and plan on doing so for a living. Think I’m going to start donating my excess goodies to an old folks home or something before I balloon to the size of a space hopper….

      • Lol, I had to look up what a “space hopper” was, but I doubt you’d let that happen anyway. That’s awesome that you can bake so well…quite a useful talent! Donating to a senior home, or maybe a soup kitchen sounds like a wonderful way to help out your community AND do something you enjoy.

        The SPCA in the town next to mine has a full tour on the 1st Thursday of every month…since I’m really knowledgeable about animals and minor veterinary services, I figure I’ll go down and see about volunteering some of my time on my day off.

      • Bless you, I love animals!

        I’d quite like to work with them, but I’d probably get too emotional about it. We have a TV show about Battersea Dogs home here, and I can’t watch it cos it makes me cry or furious :-s

        Ah, life is so complicated isn’t it. I’m probably feral due to unexpended energy, but I am definitely affected by the moon, have started to mark my most down days on a calendar and it tends to tally. yesterdays blog post was full of venom…..

        Still, at least I KNOW I’m feral, so can manage it, right?

      • Surprisingly, it was due to a similar program that I used to watch that first got me interested in helping our animal cousins. Being Wiccan, I don’t believe the Christian mythos that humans were given dominion over other animals. I truly feel that since we all share some branch of evolution’s family tree, that we are more connected than we realize. As humans, we’re gifted with intelligence, empathy and the ability to tell time/plan ahead more than any other creature. As such, I think it’s an innate responsibility of mine to care for them.

        The strong *should* protect the weak, right?

        But yeah, life is always complicated…but that’s what makes it worthwhile! The fact that we CAN feel, plan, think, argue, discuss, bake, sing, laugh, cry, draw, write…that we have the POWER to harm but the CONSCIENCE to heal…this is what living IS! If none of us had free will or were dwelling in a personal bubble just imagine how dull it would be.

      • absofuckinglutely!

        I totally believe that animals have souls and our supposed superiority doesn’t mean that we can abuse them whenever we see fit.

        There was a debate show on this morning asking if it’s Ok to ‘mix’ religions; as far as I’m concerned it’s imperative, as if we can’t see the similarities in our beliefs separatism is inevitable. All roads lead to Rome’, whoever you pray to as long as you live a good life and do as much good and as little harm as possible, we all get there anyway. We just call the ‘proprietor’ by a different name 😉

      • You know, that’s how I’ve always thought of it too. I find it weird to believe MY Gods live at 42 Divine Blvd, but yours is at 777 Heaven Street, and Daan’s dwells in 36 Paradise Ave. It’s just so nonsensical!

        Which is probably why I get along well with the Atheists I know. They are good people, and don’t need a deitiy to be as such. People can be awesome regardless of who they do or don’t pray to!

      • Girl we should rule the world! 😉

  2. Hang in there!!! Sometimes a little blood letting puts life into perspective … I hope you find an outlet and resume your works with us 🙂

  3. Sending good thoughts….

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