Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….

TWISTY, TURNY, SQUIRMY THING

9 Comments

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No moving forward

No going back

My mind is on the same old track

Not knowing what the day may bring

I’m a twisty, turny, squirmy thing

 

Too tired to move

Too restless to sit

Full to the brim

With frustration and shit

Wish I could sleep and wake in Spring

But no rest in a nest for this squirmy thing

 

My foot it flicks

I stretch and groan

What dwells within me is not my own

And it does not like the waiting game

This Tardis within my tiny frame

 

I wish I could say

I wish I could do

The thing that it so seems to want me to

But I still don’t know how to turn it loose

So jiggle and wiggle at it’s abuse

 

‘Let me out!’ it says

‘Just let me BE!’

But I just cannot seem to find the damn key

So I shift, and twitch, and flail and fling

And curse at this wormy, squirmy thing

 

No food will nourish

No drink with sate

No drug will quell this anxious state

It won’t be defeated or overthown

It will not leave me the hell alone

 

I’m trying God

My heart’s aflame

With stuff I cannot even name

How am I s’posed to let it be

When I know not what it wants from me?

 

Give me a clue

Show me the way

As I can’t face yet another day

And some direction, please do bring

This twisty, turny, squirmy thing

 

No moving forward

No going back

My mind is on the same old track

Now wondering what my God may bring

I’m a twisty, turny, squirmy thing

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9 thoughts on “TWISTY, TURNY, SQUIRMY THING

  1. Hooray for being a twisty, turny, squirmy thing! 😀

  2. Nice! I remember one instance, searching for ‘something’ I sat in the bar and had about a hundred shots of jack daniels — not getting drunk — i consciously remember trying to fill some kind of a hole — not for nothing — your post reminds me of this time.

    • I suppose my mum would have said I’m in a ‘funny mood’ today. Can’t seem to settle, relax, or get anything done, just don’t know what to do with myself. And something feels like it’s brewin’, just wish it would hurry the fuck along! x

  3. Ooooh, I like this! And I know the feeling well. At times I just have to keep telling myself repeatedly, “It’ll pass…it’ll pass…” 😉

  4. Too tired to move
    Too restless to sit

    ^ This, exactly this. I feel this so often!

  5. Outstanding, I LOVED it…it made me laugh and think and want to write….

    Aren’t we all a little twisty turny writer things 😉

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