Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….

Weekly Writing Challenge: Miley Cyrus PUT IT AWAY DEAR, WE’VE ALL GOT ONE….




I do an opinion on this having seen a clip from the awards on the news, and to be honest?

The key thing that made me turn it off was sheer cringe making, arse clenching embarrassment.

Not because I was shocked;  The most shocking thing about it was the size and colour of her tongue, she looked like she had macroglossia ( and couldn’t contain it all in her head at once.


Put it away love, purlease, or at the very least buy a scraper and change your diet as from the look of it, you may be suffering from a little constipation?


You may think I sound a little uncharitable and scathing but I tend to get really bored and irritated by people who try to shock.  Madonna in particular used to grate on me something rotten.

Back in the not so distant past, when I used to wear business attire, every now and then I’d get some twatty pseudo punk/goth/emo, who clearly thought they were ever so ‘different’ (yawn….), who would try and say something to embarrass the straight looking suit in the street or on the tube (me), and quite frankly by the time I’d finished verbally disembowelling them, you could see their blushes through their ‘Robert Smith tribute’ make up.  Result!

Amateurs. 🙂

Having being a teenager during the Punk era, and having seen Ian Dury, Iggy Pop (who was not a shy chap), the Slits, the Clash, Siouxsie and the Banshees, and the Sex Pistols live, I have to ask, does anyone really have the power to shock anymore, let alone Miley ‘Disney’ Cyrus?

Give. Me. A. Break.

All I saw was a very average performance by some spoilt, overrated, post pubescent 20 year old who appears just to have discovered what her wee wee is for, assumes that no one else has one and/or knows what to do with it, so decides to flash it a bit, and rub it up against some geezer fast approaching his forties for the benefit of the viewing public.

Actually, I have to say, that was more than slightly creepy, so I think Mummy Cyrus should have ‘the talk’ with the wee lass.

If she were mine, I would take her off the naughty step, dry her tears, sit her on the sofa and tell her that everyone has a minnie, and yes, it feels nice to touch, and she might feel like celebrating this by showing it off a bit, and rubbing it against another nice warm body, but that it’s best not to do this in front of anyone else, let alone 12.4 million people, AND then with some geezer old enough to be her Dad, and that maybe she should stick to having the occasional fiddle in her dressing room pre performance to take the pressure off?

There!  Job done.

Whoever said I wouldn’t make a great mother?


More comments:

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

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  4. Flashing the Flesh | many cools
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22 thoughts on “Weekly Writing Challenge: Miley Cyrus PUT IT AWAY DEAR, WE’VE ALL GOT ONE….

  1. Oh I am so glad I discovered your blog. You crack me up (no pun intended…. lol).

  2. Reblogged this on Strawberryquicksand and commented:
    Surely, dear readers, you cannot have missed Miley Cyrus’s TWERKING (WTF kinda word is that, anyway?) recently. Well, check out Phoenix Flight’s hilarious blog post about it all.

  3. FAR. Too. FUNNY. 😀 I enjoyed every second of reading that 🙂

  4. Amen. Mummy Cyrus can take a lesson from you. She is too busy celebrating Miley’s minnie.

  5. Pingback: Weekly Writing Challenge: Mind the Gap, Miley Cyrus – who? | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

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  7. Pingback: Weekly Writing Challenge: Mind the Gap 2 – MILEY, YOU’RE HISTORY! | Phoenix Flights

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  10. Reblogged this on May Cause Irritation and commented:
    This is one of the funniest pieces of writing I’ve seen in ages. And so bloody true!

  11. HAHAHA This was hilarious!

  12. Pingback: THE HAIRY EYEBALL | Phoenix Fights

  13. HILARIOUS !!!! – I’m spared from even knowing about these things, as such material never makes it to the TV screens of Oz; but I know without a doubt my opinion would be as one with yours.
    And yes, that tongue …? Just ugly.

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