Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….




I’ve hit the wall, and this I know

For me there’s just one room to go

Whilst there are places I could be

I’d rather stay and watch TV

Seconds, minutes hours and days

Are eaten up as I betray

All that I could work to be

But, I’m here, my dear, watching TV

Am I lazy?  Is it fear?

Or pain that keeps me sitting here?

Just how fucked up can I be?

God how I long just to be free

Of sleeping, waking, eating, shitting

And find a place that is more fitting

For a creature such as me

Who pores, eyes sore, at her TV

But I can’t keep on being a slob

As soon I’ll need to get a job

And walk the wheel, and watch the clock

And hope that opportunity will knock

Before despair devours my brain

And sends me totally insane

But today is not that day

And while I sit and watch, I pray

That I can get out on my own

And try and make this earth my home

But today, I will not move

As I don’t have the strength to prove

Anything to you or me

So I will stay and watch TV



  1. If you’re ever on this side of the pond, Sista, you should stay with me. I don’t even have basic cable, much less “other” TV. Then again, you might go into withdrawal… 😉

    Seriously though, maybe this slump of wanting to live in TVland is just your body’s way of coping with being around so many stangers lately?

  2. i feel in this mood aswell

  3. Dumbing down in front of a screen, that’s our way to deal with the reality on the other side.

  4. Unfortunately I relate to this too well. Between the tv and the internet, the world keeps spinning around me while I stay safe inside staring at a screen.

  5. Sometimes I wonder how things would have been in times past, when you didn’t choose a career so much as be born into a family with a certain business/lifestyle. Would it be less stressful to just BE a peasant, instead of thinking you had to try to constantly improve yourself? Or would the illness/pain/boredom/oppression/yadayada have still made us more unhappy than we are now?

    I suppose it’s apples and oranges. Anyway, if you are in a TV state of mind, at least the Fall shows are on!

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