I think anyone who reads my blog would say that I’m a dyed in the wool, 18 carat, fully licensed, bone fide potty mouth.
I also hope that they would say that I don’t do it for shock value, to impress (for the record, it’s not big or clever), or to be ‘down with the kids’.
My blog is an anonymous, online journal and whilst I don’t go out of my way to offend anyone, it is my diary, my sanctuary, the place where I can record my innermost thoughts, so whilst every now and then I might curb my tongue when interacting with individuals if I think I’m going to upset them, I think that I’m entitled to say what I please in my own journal.
It’s my voice.
Of course I don’t use it every day, in every post for every subject/category.
I don’t say ‘Here’s my favourite f*cking recipe for falafel‘ or ‘F*ck me, I nearly got into a fr*gging headstand by myself today’! as that would be (a) inappropriate, (b) entirely gratuitous and (c) really rather silly.
That said, if something would come out of my mouth accompanied by profanity, that will be the way I write it.
But why do I feel the need to swear?
Dunno. I’ve always been unhappy, plus my Dad swore a lot for as long as I remember, and I learned that my aggressive use of bad language made me seem more formidable than I actually was, thus saved me a number of times from a good kicking in the playground, so I suppose it’s always been a habit that has, on the surface, done me more good than harm.
I’m not entirely sure who I’m trying to convince of that, you or me, but it is what it is now.
Plus being born with an inner core of fiery, molten hot anger probably hasn’t helped matters.
But I ams what I am, and that’s alls I am….
I know without a doubt it costs me followers; I was also told by someone that one of my ‘let rip’ posts was too critical and that I should ‘parody’ or ‘lampoon’ instead of lay into, but that is her voice, not mine and I want to stay authentic.
Plus a lot of people seem to like my ‘Basil Fawlty’ moments as ex of mine used to call them. My kinda people 😉
For those of you who find swearing offensive on religious grounds, whilst I respect your opinion, I can say hand on heart as someone who considers themselves spiritual, I do not think that God gives a flying f*ck about people using colourful language.
Actions speak louder than words, as they say, and it sadly tends to be the most striding, self declaring ‘religous’ and ‘devout’ folk who hold their hands up in horror when confronted by smallest profanity that judge, condemn, discriminate, carry the most hatred in their heart, and hence do the most damage to their fellow man.
Just because my mouth is dirty doesn’t mean my soul is.
Well it could probably do with a boil wash twice a year or so, but that is another story 😉
Can you swear and still be a good writer?
Ask Bret Easton Ellis, Irving Walsh or James Elroy. Whilst these established potty mouths may not be your cup of char, no one can deny their success or talent. If being sweary wasn’t who they are, they wouldn’t be so f*cking good at it.
What would offend me more than their profanity on the page would be if they substituted their f*cks for ‘flips’ or ‘fudge’ under politically correct duress as that would sound totally stoopid and, dare I say, inappropriate.
Note the use of ‘f*cking’ there, utilised because sometimes it is the only word that packs sufficient punch to get your feelings across when you feel totally passionately about something.
I’m sure you’ve all sent that ‘How to use the F Word’ poster above, and joking aside, it is probably the most versatile swear word in the English language. Indeed I would go so far to say that it is now a largely respected and generally accepted part of 21st century parlance.
And there are others that I, for one, cannot and will not do without, especially when a name or an issue can bring them to my lips within a nano second:
Kanye West Radio 1 interview and subsequent Twitter hissy fit – Tw*t
David Cameron/EDF nuclear energy strategy – B*stards
Miley Cyrus doing/saying anything – *W*nker
Paul Hollywood – Tit
Prince of Wales implying that he doesn’t want to be King – Bollocks
Piers Morgan – C***
Yes, that brings us to the much vilified ‘C’ word; and I don’t mean columnist.
I don’t tend to use this in my blog or indeed in life, but sometimes the person or situation does call for it.
I’m not fazed by c*** and don’t shy away from it, but I doubt if I will ever use it casually (in the way that my nephew and his friends do when they call each other it with genuine affection), and tend to keep it in reserve for maximum effect.
Well just think; if c*** becomes the norm like f*ck has, WTF will we use to replace it?
Take my advice and if it feels comfortable and you feel impelled to use profanity in your writing, then give yourself permission to do so.
As for the ‘C’ word, treat it like that dress/suit/heels/pair of jeans that you spent a small fortune on that still wrapped in tissue paper in the back of your wardrobe.
Keep it for ‘best’. 🙂
‘Be yourself; everyone else is already taken’
*Wanker is normally a term reserved for the male of the species, but when it comes to MC, I’m prepared to make an exception.