OK, this is my first proper ‘ear worm’ for y’all, aka a song you really don’t want stuck in your head. Ever.
Well, it’s stuck in mine, so suck it up suckers!
And the reason this catchy little number has been driving me barmy all morning?
I received a letter reminding me that my annual cervical smear test is due.
Oh deep and fundamental joy. NOT. A modified car jack with sharpened lolly stick attachment up the fanny, just what every single, celibate gal needs of a morning. 😦
Oh, and any blokes thinking ‘Here we go, another woman banging on about her hormones and shit’, try imagining this bad boy cranked up your dirt box then opened wide.
Got it? Good. Show a bit of empathy for once.
And of course the minute I get prone on that paper couch and spot the bloody thing heading due south, my minnie goes on lock down and is harder to breach than an airborne Airforce One, making the whole transaction even more of a battle.
So be warned, I’ll be in a dangerous mood that day.
Seriously, when the fuck will they leave my poor old carcass alone and start working on my head via group therapy? What with all the tit squishing, blood letting, head shrinking and booby perverts peering at my girls mid exam (https://sistasertraline.wordpress.com/2014/02/01/daily-prompt-write-here-write-now-i-saw-you-looking-at-my-tit/), I’m gonna start breaking out in hives every time I recognise my GP or hospital’s postal stamp on an envelope.
Whoever ends up breaching my person that day had better have a gentle hand otherwise someone’s gonna have themselves a case, and quite possibly a broken face too.
Next life I’m coming back as a man, do you hear me God?!!