I think I’m being tested.
This morning, I received a very exciting email asking me to come into town this afternoon to discuss some paid work, and was asked to dress to impress.
It was all a bit last minute but it sounded very promising and I was most excited, and ran around like a mad woman (yes I know 😉 ), trawled through my wardrobe for the perfect outfit, washed my hair and put it up, trowelled on the make up, got done up to the nines, paid London congestion charge to take my car into the zone, so I wouldn’t get rained on, accidentally drove into a bus lane (SHIT!) because I was so nervous, paid a small fortune to a sweet genial man to park near the venue, refreshed my lipstick, took a deep breath and teetered over to the cobbles in my most elegant heels, trying not to perspire in the sunny, humid atmosphere and, for once, 20 minutes early, reported to reception.
And as I scaled the stairs to the interview room, I imagined that this was going to be the start of a new phase for me, a successful happy trouble free period where I would get a working life back on track, earn something akin to a living, and maybe even excel at something that I found fun and exhilarating.
Then as I approached the lady in charge, and before I even took my coat off, greeted me with this immortal line.
‘Oh dear. You’re younger than we thought. I don’t think this is the right job for you.’
And that was it. Blown out of the water in less than a minute, with a bright smile and barely an apology for wasting my time, money and energy, when they knew my age and what I looked like from the onset and still asked me to attend, plus they almost seemed to take some kind of perverse joy in seeing my face fall at being dismissed so rudely.
I did myself proud though.
I did not let those arrogant, power crazy bitches see my disappointment. Not one flicker. And if they were waiting for me to grovel or plead my case, they were wasting their time.
I gave them a dazzling smile, thanked them for their time and exited with my head held high.
And as I drove home I realised that there would potentially be many more days like this, where I would have to interact with the ignorant, and I would have to roll with the punches and gird myself against letting the disappointments in my future overwhelm me into fully blown ‘dark days’.
Sure I would learn something from today and guard against any further invitations from this company and companies like them, but to be able to do something you like (well, don’t mind too much) for a living comes at a cost and such roles are hard fought for hence competition is fierce. I have however vowed that I will never let anyone see my vulnerability again, and I plan to stick to that, no matter how people treat me.
As for those who really overstep the mark…
Going back to today, all I can do is try and focus on the positives:
1. I look younger than my age. Apparently this isn’t perceptible from my photos, even those that have been photoshopped, but, hey, whatvs… 😉
2. I had the guts to grab an opportunity and run with it.
3. I didn’t get hit/killed when I drove into the bus lane (and hopefully won’t get fined, please God…)
4. A very handsome guy flirted with me en route.
5. My lovely friend was there to cheer me on when I told her the news, and commiserate with me when I was dumped, bless her heart.
6. The lovely car park guy on hearing my hard luck tale, fully refunded my parking costs, how sweet was that?
7. After my Lenten deprival I can now fit into my slinky 1950’s Betty Page dress again!
8. I have about 2 kilos of high quality chocolate squirrelled away in my kitchen! But will only have one. Chocolate, not kilo that is. 😉
Those Oasis boys know a bit about rolling with it, and whilst they’ve had their ups and downs, they’re still out there doing their thing. We’re a tenacious lot us Mancs, and as Liam has frequently demonstrated, not a race to be messed with!
Play this song when you feel down and beaten, and I hope it gives you inspiration.