Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….

25 DAYS OF SONGS CHALLENGE: DAY 5 – A SONG THAT IS STUCK IN MY HEAD

19 Comments

I have a confession to make.

I appear to be having the female/middle aged version of wet dreams on a disturbingly frequent basis, and wake up feeling as if I’ve just orgasmed or am about to.

Sometimes I can feel myself actually rearing and thrusting like a frustrated filly in my sleep.

Talk about ‘Giddy up Cowboy’….

boardwalk-empire-paz

How disturbing/cringy/embarrassing.

Whilst it is no doubt a clear sign that my body is in good health, I treat it like a malady as opposed to a ‘happy ending’ per se.  That is to say in the way one treats a headache.

Your head starts throbbing, take a couple of panadol so that it doesn’t interfere with your day.

Your crotch starts throbbing, have a quick wank for the same reason.  To shut it up so you can get on with more important things.

Somehow, despite the menopause, despite the fact that I’m still taking meds, and over a year of my studiously ignoring it, my libido is once again stomping its foot, demanding to be heard.

I know, I know, sex is a wonderful part of life and doesn’t have to end after the menopause, and you can always get an understanding partner and buy shares in ‘slide and glide’, blah, blah, bleugh.

KY_Jelly____now_in_bulk_by_SleepyTim

It’s just that it’s just soooo….bloody inconvenient.

It’s hard enough to get a date in London when you’re in a job and the right side of 30, but an over 50 year old, jobless, post menopausal BPD depressive?

Seriously where do you start?

Get a fuck buddy, some might say?

no_men_allowed_feminist_anti_penis_symbol_coaster-p174199746110807289en8pp_400

Not a bad suggestion, but I’m scared.  I haven’t been penetrated for at least four years, and (a) my mimsy might not allow a willie in, (b) it might (will) hurt, and (c) it might get stuck, and I don’t fancy being hauled off to my local Casualty clinging to the body of Mr A Nother as they are currently filming the TV series ’24 Hours in A&E’ there.

Plus it’s never quite as uncomplicated as it is on paper, I’m horribly territorial about my home as well as my body, and to be quite honest?

For probably the first time in my life, I don’t want anyone inside me that I don’t trust and feel something for.  Which is pretty unfortunate because I don’t actually trust anyone.

And in the meantime, this song is blaring in my ear mockingly, reminding me of my youth club days when myself and my other geeky friend danced and sang along to it, blissfully unaware of the sexual implications.

Ah, those were the days…

In the meantime my body keeps reminding me that whilst I may be done with sex, sex ain’t exactly done with me yet.

Whatcha say?

30/5 UPDATE – It happened AGAIN last night!

WTF IS HAPPENING WITH MY BODY?!!!  Is this some menopausal ‘last chance saloon’ thing?!

OH GOD, MAKE IT STOP BEFORE I START DRY HUMPING INANIMATE OBJECTS!

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19 thoughts on “25 DAYS OF SONGS CHALLENGE: DAY 5 – A SONG THAT IS STUCK IN MY HEAD

  1. … you are on a roll! And I’m blushing… just a wee tiny bit.

  2. Wow. “I’ll have what she’s having.”

  3. Yep, life’s a bitch and then you die – but sometimes not soon enough to escape its cruel ironies.

  4. “My mimsie might not allow a willie in” — love love love! Girl, I’m in the same category — and I’ll admit to having some of the same thoughts. Good luck to us both — hahaha! No matter the end result, I’m glad to have a healthy libido whether or not I happen to be entertaining.

  5. Great dreams to have, bring them on! Just don’t wake up too soon…. 😀

  6. I’m reading this while on “MUTE” during a trans-continental conference call, thank goodness for mute buttons (double checks again). It’s cruelly ironic that once you reach the side of little to no consequences is when the contenders are few and far between, and often the ones present aren’t of any interest, and one longs for emotional fulfillment along with errr, other fulfillment so to speak. These happenings continue, hate to tell you, far past the actual menopausal event. I’m thirteen years past my surgical arrival at that point and it still happens. Good for erotic poetry inspiration from time to time though 😉 Thanks for making me smile during the tedium of work Sista. Always love your honesty behind the curtain of anonymity…

    • Thank you lovely! It’s so odd to feel next to nothing for so long and now to be like, err, a female dog on heat continuously! Thank God no one can tell :-s x

  7. Madame, I must protest.

    Knowing—AS YOU DO—how severely it is that you have me bewitched, this kind of inhuman taunting is nothing short of unconscionable.

    Ms. Meikle, I regret to confirm that Mr. Orbison has, indeed, gone with the Great Beaver. This sad event occured in 1988.

    “THEY AIN’T MAKING JEWS LIKE JESUS ANYMORE”, KINKY FRIEDMAN
    Well, what song should be getting stuck in one’s head, when, to quote Mr. Friedman, finding oneself “Too young for Medicare, too old for women to care”?
    (But, it must be admitted, running a distant second is “My Toot-Toot”.)

  8. I see, Madame. So, you find my admiration, adulation and metastatic desire for you amusing.

    How…

    n-i-i-i-ice.

    😉

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