Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016….




They’re ba-ack…

And I’m not talking about poltergeists either, and quite frankly they’d be more welcome than the return of… periods!


Men (or women for that matter), look away now if you’re squeamish…

And it’s not minimal I’m-just-dropping-by-on-my-way-out kind of flow either.  Nope.  It’s a gusher. 😦


No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!

This would explain a lot about those strange, excessive sexual urges and my recent turbo bout of ‘woe is me’.  A PMT /depression/meds cocktail is a  pretty formidable thang it seems.

Fruitlessly I search for a tampon, but there are none to be found.  I stare accusingly at the cats (who were, and probably still are, skilled ‘white mousy’ kidnappers/torturers) but they return my gaze with their standard wide eyed ‘Who me?’ look of cute innocence.


Hmm.  I’m sure there are a few mangled fluffed up corpses around here somewhere, but it’s not like I can put them anywhere near my mimsy now.

So I curse under my breath, and continue to turn out the contents of my knicker drawer onto the floor.


I am so not going to buy more.  No sir.  That would be tantamount to admitting that they were back indefinitely, which is something I do not care to consider, which is why I’m mincing around gingerly with the equivalent of an adult nappy (i.e. an enormous jam rag from my previous ‘endo’ years) rustling away under my gusset.

And of course the thing about a towel is that unlike with a tampon, you can feel your flow exit. God it’s disgusting.  How do we women put up with this shit for all of those years?

What is the deal here?  Is it a final gore-tastic finale before it bows and leaves the stage forever?  Can periods come back for a defiant, futile second innings?  Seems to be I’ve been ‘peri’ forever…how do you know when ‘post’ happens?

Anyone who’s come out of the end of the menopause, please help as I am in no mood to start buying things to stick up my foof again now that I’ve had a taste of freedom, so will continue with the diapers if the end is actually in sight?

Is it?  Please tell me it is!

In the meantime I’m jammin’, jammin’, jammin’, jammin’, jammin’ and I wish I that I could say adieu…



23 thoughts on “JAMMIN’

  1. 😦 You have my complete sympathy. The feel? It *is* disgusting, especially if you discharge clots. Like the size of calf liver.

    Been there in the tampon-double pads-all-swaddled-in-Depends department. And STILL had spillage.

    Is the end in sight? I wish I had an answer. I had fibroid tumours that meant heavy gushers every month, without fail, for years. Until the last period that put me in the emergency ward due to dangerous blood loss. They pumped me up with a pint or two of blood, waited a week for me to recover from that, then hysterectomy.

    “A PMT /depression/meds cocktail is a pretty formidable thang it seems.” Absolutely! Hormones are vile creatures. A design flaw, in my humble.

    • Jesus, that sounds awful. My mum had a very early hysterectomy after years of hideous periods.

      I had endometriosis from my early 20s which made my periods unbearable (no wonder I was so feral!), so when the menopause kicked in, whilst I bemoaned the loss of my youth, it’s so amazing not to feel like someone beat my abdomen, back, crotch and thighs with a bat, then filled my belly with hot chip fat every frigging month. Design flaw is an understatement, I’ll be having a word with someone when kick it! 😉

    • What a nasty but effective image – the size of calf liver. Oh yeah. Been there. Done that. Left the t-shirt in the gift shop though.

  2. “peri forever”…yeah, I feel like that too only my periods haven’t ceased. They’re right on time, every stupid month. My mother lies and says “oh mine just stopped one day…I didn’t have any trouble.” yeah. riiiiiiight. I remember those years Mom…the only good thing I can say is that my antidepressants help immensely with the PMDD that accompanies my peri.

    How nice. 😛

    Hang in there – and go to the store! 😀

  3. Something to cheer you a bit – I hope ! My favourite group – a cappella no less !!!

  4. Stay calm, go see your doc. I had the same sitch. Needed a little cleansing with a DNC and then I was done for good. (Pity the man reading any of these comments. Yeah, we’re a disgusting, hard as nails crew, we women.)

  5. Okay…I’m not sure how long I was in peri-menopause because the moods, and all the crap that went with it seemed to last forever. Then one day they stopped. I was told I was post menopausal after one year of freedom. Any bleeding after that, see your doctor because it isn’t normal. Could be a serious issue.

  6. Good news is your recent ‘so shoot me’ mood was more vicious little hormones than inexplicable relapse. My last hoorah was a gusher, started the day after my husband’s funeral. Ha ha!
    I agree with April. You only know it’s over after a curse-free year, but at least it’s not likely to blast you every month.

  7. You know how women who are near each other start to share the same cycles? Well I haven’t had a period in 3 months. I usually only hang out with kids, men, women who used to be men, and ladies post menopause. But I read this blog and bam! My long-lost period comes back with a vengeance! Could it be we are all even closer than we think in this blogging world?

    I won’t cast blame on you my sista. I’ll share in your pain. And exhaustion. I forgot how absolutely tired it makes me.

    I was told I need to get a blood test to check my thyroid because having sporadic periods like this at 40 is not normal. Meh….

  8. “Pity the man reading…these comments.  Yeah, we’re a disgusting, hard as nails crew.”

    BUSHWA, I say.  Do not pity anyone.  Rather, scorn the man who considers frank and informative discourse “icky”.

    BUNK, I say.  If honesty and directness are “disgusting”, then may we never leave the sty.

    DAMN STRAIGHT, I say.  You are some stand-up broads.  And there is nothing better than a stand-up broad.

  9. CD I did wonder wether you would swerve this one, as many of your kind would/did, but you came, saw AND commented! Bravo! Stout fellow…. 😉

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s