I’m sat here at my keyboard on a baking hot Sunday in just a sarong, post ice cream overdose, not having been out all day, and I haven’t a clue what I’m going to say to you, so I’m just gonna wing it I suppose…
It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post, but I have very valid reasons for not having been here. Or do I?
I’ll try and break it down.
Things have all been very up and down, a real mixture of busy days (one of which I might actually be paid for), social days, dark dark days, and days of pure lethargy and self loathing and I totally lapsed back into all of my bad habits especially watching back to back TV hence I am now hooked on this year’s ‘Big Brother’.
I also got very down about this blog and the fact that I kept aiming high and promising big only to immediately default and get caught up in my usual self defeating, self destructive behaviour, so after my last post I skipped a day.
And then another.
And then a week.
And pretty soon, my blog, my precious lifeline went the way of yoga, creativity, dancing and all of those good things that made me feel that life was worth living, and joined them on the ‘Tomorrow/Monday’ pile.
As in ‘I’ll skip yoga and chill out today, and start afresh, and will be on my mat at 7.45am sharp tomorrow‘.
‘I’ll apply for a job, any job, one a day, but it’s Sunday so tomorrow, Monday will be the perfect time to start’.
‘I’ll sort out my baking business and get a business card sorted, but today’s already spoiled now so I’ll finished this box set and start as I mean to go on next week‘.
‘I hate myself when I have a muffin top, so need to get back on a healthy eating regime, but I started today with a sausage sandwich for breakfast, so I might as well gorge on all the fattening stuff left in my fridge today (because it’s too much effort to shove it in the freezer – right?) and start everything tomorrow. All diets start on a Monday, right?
How could this have happened? Sure I had a couple of busy, all consuming days, but that doesn’t mean I should ‘reward’ myself by flopping out and neglecting my mind, body and most of all my spirit.
I think I was also sick of my own whining, negativity and endless excuses.
But hey I’m here now, and have re-broken my duck (non Brits see link below) in the very act of completing this post.
I know, it’s not big and not that clever.
But from little ducklings, mighty hens do grow, and normal service will resume as soon as possible.
Thanks for your messages, they meant a lot.