Yes it’s another fun packed day of Sista moaning about inconsequential shit…
But I have to tell someone otherwise I’ll say something to the person in question.
Which would not be good. 😦
So anyway, I have this ‘friend’ on Facebook. She’s not really a friend as such but a relative of a close friend of mine.
I can count on one hand the number of times we have met or socialised, and we have very little in common, but that does not stop her tagging me on all of her banal Facebook posts, thus plastering her shit all over my home page.
These posts are getting more and more frequent and can take the form of ‘amusing’ memes, animal videos, photos from events that I did not even attend, and even her friends personal ads selling their old tat, looking for flat mates, their missing hamster etc. etc.
I must hasten to add that this lady is not a horrible person.
I think she’s probably trying to be friendly.
But I cannot lie, this unsolicited, intrusive activity is really starting to get on my tits now. I’ve even had to amend my settings so I get to sort the wheat from the chaff and approve each tag on a case by case basis. So now, I get an email every time she tags me on something, which invades on my space even more than before.
I mean, the fucking arrogance of it.
Who does she think she is exactly, plonking her crap all over my real estate? Which is what your Facebook page is of course, it represents you, your personality, your friends, your likes and preferences, beliefs and principles, NOT those of some tiresome old bint you barely even know.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s like someone coming into your home and plonking a horrible, stained, chintzy sofa into your sitting room, leaving, then all your visitors think you wanted it. Or someone parking their shitty rust bucket of a car in your drive.
Across two spaces.
Or interrupting you mid sentence.
Or telling you then end of the book you’re reading.
Or even someone writing their pointless drivel in your blog! In your name!
I am woman, and oh Lord, Emma, you really don’t wanna hear me ROAR right now!
I mean, I don’t even want good friends doing that shit to me.
One of my pals makes really lovely crafts, and every now and then she’ll tag me on her latest creation, and lo an behold, there it is on my page, immediately initiating lots of ‘Oh that’s lovely, did you make it?’s from my friends.
Then I have to reply ‘No I didn’t fricking make it, Jenny did, and she is hanging out for a bit of Sista praise (or just wants to show off), but isn’t patient enough to wait for me to spot it in my feed, so she hauls it onto my page and drops it at my feet like a cat bringing in a dead bird, and is waiting eagerly for a metaphorical scratch behind the ears as we speak!’
Or words to that effect.
Whatever happened to observing peoples boundaries FFS?
I know that I am particularly territorial and like my own space, but honestly some people are just absolutely oblivious.
In a very rare outing to the pub last night, a male acquaintance quite literally sat with his knees pushed up against my thigh, his face inches from mine, arms thrashing and gesticulating wildly like some mad professor. If I wasn’t quite fond of him, I’d have found a broom and poked him hard in the ribs with it.
I’ve clearly spent to much time in my own company as I am, quite honestly, allergic to my own species nowadays.
Back to Emma.
How do I deal with this situation? The way I see it, it will be win/lose no matter how hard I try for a mutually beneficial outcome.
If I’m honest with her, she’ll be offended and my close friend will be annoyed at me.
If I don’t say anything, I’ll spontaneously combust and do something very drastic.
Like tagging her on every single thing I upload.
Especially the most profane and offensive stuff as she’s a Christian 🙂
Or I could tag her on porno uploads.
Oh Lord. I can just see myself doing that after a few drinks one night!
Any ideas anyone?