And I’m not talking about poltergeists either, and quite frankly they’d be more welcome than the return of…..my periods!
Men (or women for that matter), look away now if you’re squeamish…
And it’s not minimal I’m-just-dropping-by-on-my-way-out kind of flow either. Nope. It’s a gusher. 😦
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!
This would explain a lot about those strange, excessive sexual urges and my recent turbo bout of ‘woe is me’. A PMT /depression/meds cocktail is a pretty formidable thang it seems.
Fruitlessly I search for a tampon, but there are none to be found. I stare accusingly at the cats (who were, and probably still are, skilled ‘white mousy’ kidnappers/torturers) but they return my gaze with their standard wide eyed ‘Who me?’ look of cute innocence.
Hmm. I’m sure there are a few mangled fluffed up corpses around here somewhere, but it’s not like I can put them anywhere near my mimsy now.
So I curse under my breath, and continue to turn out the contents of my knicker drawer onto the floor.
I am so not going to buy more. No sir. That would be tantamount to admitting that they were back indefinitely, which is something I do not care to consider, which is why I’m mincing around gingerly with the equivalent of an adult nappy (i.e. an enormous jam rag from my previous ‘endo’ years) rustling away under my gusset.
And of course the thing about a towel is that unlike with a tampon, you can feel your flow exit. God it’s disgusting. How do we women put up with this shit for all of those years?
What is the deal here? Is it a final gore-tastic finale before it bows and leaves the stage forever? Can periods come back for a defiant, futile second innings? Seems to be I’ve been ‘peri’ forever…how do you know when ‘post’ happens?
Anyone who’s come out of the end of the menopause, please help as I am in no mood to start buying things to stick up my foof again now that I’ve had a taste of freedom, so will continue with the diapers if the end is actually in sight?
Is it? Please tell me it is!
In the meantime I’m jammin’, jammin’, jammin’, jammin’, jammin’ and I wish I that I could say adieu…